Wednesday, 24 March 2010, 6:41 PM
10 days had passed, couldnt be more worst. Hmmm, saw this article when i was surfing facebook ... felt that its kinda meaningful, so i decided to post it here.

一句我等你,不知道需要多大的勇气

它远比我爱你三个字,来得更需要勇气
不是每个人你都愿意等待,也不是所有人都值得你去等待
一句我等你,包含了很多的,无奈,心酸,苦涩
或许是爱不到,或许是不能爱
无论怎样,我等你这个承诺,远比我爱你更动听

看看身边,有多少人曾经对你说我爱你
可有谁会说一句我等你,谁会愿意那样卑微的等待
不计较任何的回报的等待,
说一句我爱你很容易,可却和少有人愿意会说一句我等你
在我看来,
一句我等你,是三个字的承诺

也许你面前的这个人,一句我爱你感动了你
但你却忽略了那个说我等你的人,
只是三个字,
前者的爱有激情但肤浅,后者的爱单纯又执着

年少的时候,我们向往那些激情
钟爱那句我爱你,受了伤也不投降
当被伤透彻了才知道一切都因为一句--> 我爱你

那个时候,你更愿意听到那一句我等你

如果,在你身边有那么一个人Bold
他愿意毫不计较的为你付出,默默的等你
那么,请千万珍惜
他会是一直陪你走下去的那个人
他不会在半途中将你丢弃
因为他懂得珍惜与付出,他懂得那一句,我等你

可是你知道吗?
为了爱你,选择等你,等你
是因为更能好好爱你 …
让你给他一个家,陪她走完这一生,

如果正有一个等你的他,
好好珍惜,能拥有对你这样痴情的他,
有的人一生都不会有这种机遇…,
你遇到了请不要辜负他的心,
因为说出等你时他就决定,
放弃等你的途中一切幸福的机遇…

或许对她来说错过的不是他的幸福,

即使他对你们的结果心里没底…都一直等下去,
说明他真的对你太痴心!
你也可以说他傻,但是一切都是为你傻,
能等到你,和你永远在一起才是他真正的幸福!

相信和这样的爱人共渡一生你也会幸福…

经常给他传个短信,他就会兴奋不已,
在孤独也不会觉得空虚,
因为虽看不到你,心中都装满了你…

好好珍惜吧………
祝天下等待的人都能有好的结果…

Quote from a friend : i used to love you, i still love you, and i will love you ...

Tuesday, 23 March 2010, 6:09 PM
No more

Your love to me, is gone, it is no more by now ...

Everything happy that has had happened to me, its no more by now ...

I still can remember it clearly that ...

Every time if i faced any problem, you will be there for me, but its no more by now ...

Every time, if i am sad, you will be there for me, its no more now ...

Every time if i am happy, you will be the one i wanted to share with, its no more now ...

Every time i hold your hands, i can feel the love, but its no more now ...

Every time, i hug you tight, saying that i love you, its no more by now ...

Every time we kissed, the moments had shattered, its no more now ...

Every time we said i love you to each other, its no more now ...

Every time when we sat so closely together while talking to each other, its no more now ...

Every time when i need support, you were the first one i seek, but its no more by now ...

Every time when i am down or what, you were there by my side, its no more now ...

Every time, the smile you gave me when you are happy, its no more by now ...

Every time i chat with you happily through the phone or what, it's no more now ...

Every time when we went out happily together, it's no more now ...

Every time when i message you, you felt happy, it's no more by now ...

Every time when you said you love me, i was so happy, too bad it's no more by now ...

Every time that we said something funny and laugh out so hard, it's no more now ...

Every time that we plan out our things together, it's no more now ...

Every time that you said you missed me, you were sad, but it's no more now ...

Every time we sang the song together in the car, and it's no more by now ...

Every time i poked you through facebook, you said you were happy, but it's no more now ...

Every time that you saw me coming back to penang, you were so happy, but no more now ...

Every time that i made you angry, and you said you hate me but you're not, it's no more now ...

Every time when i got new post in my facebook, you will be there to comment, no more now ...

Every time i went out with friends, you were worry bout me, it's no more now ...

Every time even you made me angry, but after that you made me happy, it's no more by now ...

Every time no matter how busy are you, you will still reply me, no more by now ...

Every time no matter how busy are you, you wont forget to call me, but it's no more now ...

Every time when you said you read every single post in my blog, it's no more by now ...

Every time when i wanted to went out with you, you never say no, it's no more now ...

Every time when there are problems, you will be the first that help me to solve, no more now ...

Every time when i beg you for forgiveness you wont say no, but it's no more now ...

Every time you viewed my facebook profile regardless how many times, it's no more by now ...

Every time when you worked, you wont forget to use the phone to call me, it's no more now ...

Every time, the first thing you do when you woke up is looking for me, but it's no more now ...

Every time that we hug ourselves so tight when i left, it's no more by now ...

Every time that we talked happily on the phone, it's no more by now ...

Every time you felt sweet when i said i love you, sadly, it's gone by now ...

Every time that we argued, but end up we are still good as new after that, no more by now ...

Every time when i made you happy, you said you like it, and it's no more now ...

Every time when we cuddled each other, you said you like it, it's no more now ...

Every time when i said lame jokes, you laugh out loud, but its no more now ...

Every time that i failed to make you happy, you'd said you still love me, and it's no more now ...

Every time when im down, you sure will be there to cheer me up, but it's no more now ...

Every time when you went to my house, i said dont worry, it's no more by now ...

Every time i said you were ugly, you were angry, but it's no more by now ...

Every time that we went out and eat together, you said you were happy, it's no more now ...

Every time i went to your house you will be there waiting for me, it's no more by now ...

Every time i said something hurtful to you, you will still be there for me, but its no more now ...

Every time when you wait for me for lunch while i was working, it's no more by now ...

Every time when we smoked together, it's no more now ...

Every time when i said you were the one i love, you were happy, but it's no more now ...

Every time when i looked at you, you sure hug me, but it's no more by now ...

Every time when we were in your car, i touched you when you were driving, its no more now ...

Every moment that we spent together before, it's no more now ...

Every things that we done together, it's no more by now ...

Every places that we went like, KL, Genting, Hiking, Hanging around & etc, it's no more now ...

Every single little thing, every single piece of thing, i remember it clearly, it's no use now ...

Every words that i told you,no matter how i said it, it is useless now i know ... it's no use now ...

Every words that i said, i meant it, but it wont change anything now, it wont ...

I know now, that you heart doesnt belong to me anymore, no matter how hard i tried to change myself and non stop loving you day by day, you still wont be giving me a chance already anyway
...

But when a girl said she never will, she never will ...

Maybe the things that we used to do, the one you love now will do it with you ...

Maybe he will love you more than i do, maybe ...

Maybe you love him more than you had ever love me, maybe ...

Maybe there wont be a chance anymore for you and me, maybe ...

Maybe you will be together with him in the future, maybe ...

Maybe you will be better if you get together with him, maybe ...

Who knows ? ...

I hope he will treat you better than i do, even you said there wont be anything that will happen ...

No matter how hard you said you want me to give up on you, i wont ...

No matter how many times you said it's not worth it for me, i wont ...

No matter how many times you said you want me to stop loving you, i wont ...

No matter how many times you told me on the phone you dont want me to wait for you, i wont ...

No matter how many times you said you dont love me anymore, i wont ...

No matter how many times you you said it's not fair for me, i wont ...

No matter how hard i have tried not to love you, i wont ...

No matter how hard i told myself to give up on you, i wont ...

No matter how many times i said i wanna stop missing you, i wont ...

No matter how many times i lied myself that i dont love you anymore, i wont ...

No matter how many times you had rejected me, i wont ...

No matter how many times you want me to give up and find another, i wont ...

No matter what happened between you and that guy, i wont ...

No matter how many times you had asked me to open for other peoples, i wont ...

No matter how many times i had wished both of you happy ending, i wont ...

No matter how hard i forced myself not wait for you anymore, i wont ...

No matter how many times you told me that you cant give me promises that you will be together again with me in the future, i wont ...

No matter how hard i have tried and tried, i just wont ...

I wont ...

Give up hope on you ...

As i will still be waiting for you ...

Stop loving you even more day by day ...

Stop waiting for you ...

I dont mind if you're with him or not ...

I dont mind to wait ...

I dont mind to sacrifice for the one i really do love ...

Give up on myself ... and ...

I know i am a better person when i am with you ... and ...

I love you ...


Saturday, 20 March 2010, 5:14 AM
Yesterday, i found some songs from my laptop. After i listened to them, i felt that it's kinda good. It's old, but it's gold. It's dope, suits my current feeling alot.
Starting from ...
献世

我没有胆挂念 你没有心见面 试问我可以去边
只要我出现 只怕你不便 亦连累你丢脸
你是我的秘密 我是你的废物 缺席也不算损失
今晚你生日 祝我有今日 地球上快消失

眼泪还是留给天抚慰 你是前度 何必听我吠
再不走 有今生 无下世 你是否想我 起这个毒誓
宁愿失恋亦不想失礼 难道要对着你力歇声嘶
即使不抵 都要眼闭 我这种身世 有甚么资格 献世

我共你不够熟 眼泪也比较浊 也没气质对你哭
不介意孤独 比爱你舒服 别离就当祝福

即使不抵 都要眼闭
我自卑不怕 有自尊只怕 怕献世


and
我不是偉人

不肯祝你兩人戀愛愉快
是否很古怪 要去肢解
舊情人即使假裝好友狀態
誰又希罕我賣口乖

肯祝福你有如肯放下你
還是肯寬恕 對我不起
未別離花光好心地去待你
留下的骨氣還是想刻骨至死

無法死心 忘掉自私非愛人
還有私心 仍能令你為我牽掛
餘生偉大到自卑也是人
無法誠懇豁達做偉人
恕我狠心 無限大方非愛人
還有真心 才難偽裝自己遮蓋良心
你就當我小氣殘忍
餘情未了總有記恨 我講真

真想不到你如此看重我
難道祝福你 你更好過
我為何必須扭曲本性做我
難道委屈我來為你點播情歌

如要講真 忘掉自私非愛人
還有私心 仍能令你為我牽掛
餘生偉大到自卑也是人
無法誠懇豁達做偉人
恕我狠心 無限大方非愛人
還有真心 才難偽裝自己遮蓋良心
我待你曾恩厚像神
然而為愛總有記恨 我講真

無法死心 忘掉自私非愛人
還有私心 仍能令你為我牽掛
餘生偉大到自卑也是人
無法誠懇豁達做個偉人
恕我狠心 無限大方非愛人
還有真心 才難偽裝自己遮蓋良心
你就當我小氣殘忍
從前絕配不夠道行 變配襯


Thursday, 18 March 2010, 11:45 PM
Its been 4 days. These 4 days are kinda slow to me. My time, every minutes, every seconds, seemed so slow to me, it freeze and passed so slow, and within these moments, i kept thinking about the time we used to had together, all those happy and sweet moments. After i came back to Penang, i tried everything to do anything just for her. I know you will keep on say that its not worth it for me, but for me, my answers will still be the same, i wont give up on you, as you are the one that i really really do love very much. You asked me to forget bout you, I cant, even though a thousand times i told myself that i had to do so, but seriously i cant, i cant live within my own lies. I am very very very down and sad after you told me that thing. NO joke, its really really do hurt me alot, like a millions of dagger stabbed into my heart at once. Every night i woke up because i cant sleep, every night i dream about you, waking up and knowing this is the truth that you had left me. Waking up almost every night with the taste of tears made me realized that i cried again that night. I know begging things and stuffs wont work on you, but deep down within me i am praying hard and harder as days goes by. You said you needed time, i had all the time in the world. i am not rushing you for anything, just wanted you to know, please do seriously think bout it first only make your decision that i am worth it okay? I will wait for you no matter what happened. Just wanted you to know that, my feelings towards you wont change no matter what happened. I realized that i had fallen in love with you deeper than i can ever imagine. Just hope that you could just give me one last chance just to make things right this time, i promised you i wont messed up and i can assure you that i am not the old Eugene you had ever knew.

P/S : I still love you like how i did at 050109


Monday, 15 March 2010, 8:00 PM
Sorry my blog that i left you to dust for quite some time. But i am back right now, with some news. 14th March, the worst day of my life. These few days kept raining, its just same as my mood, i might looked okay outside but its raining blood within me. I am back to the old days i used to had. I had lost my everything, my whole world. You decided to left me. At first i do not want to make that decision, but after that, you got me no choice, but to promised you. But a day after the promised had been made, i found out that i am nothing without you, i kept thinking about you, even when my eyes are closed, the fragments of the memories will still keep playing it in my brain. I know i have been wrong, i know i have been selfish, i know i have been treated you badly, i know, i finally realized these fatal mistakes that i had made. I am an asshole, i beg for your forgiveness for everything that i have done. I realized that you were the one i love the most. You were the one that i wished to spent my life with. But now, you had left me. I am suffering now, i have been crying, and stuffs, but you dont care me like you used to be before, how i wished i could turn back time, and erase all the stubborn mistakes that i did, and try to improve myself. Since you have been gone, you changed alot, that hurts me. You seems like got no feel and stuffs, that hurts me even more. Plus, you had been cruel to me, the feeling was like got hit by tsunami and i will be gone forever. I never been so before, because my feelings towards you are real. To me you are all that i've got. I know you dont love me like how you did last time, but i can be sure my love for you wont change, nothing is gonna be able to change it. You said that why cant i be gone and let you go? The answer is, i cant, i cant do such things, its like millions of knives stabbed into my heart at once. You said why cant i just treat as you had already fallen in love with another guy? The answer is i cant, because i cant imagine it happening, seeing the one you love said such things is a torment. I just want you to know, i love you, love you very very much, every hour every minute i kept flash back on how we meet, how we get together, how great things happened between us and stuffs, oh yeah not to mentioned the sweet moments we are when we are together, i kept reminiscing the past. I will be just fine, pretending i am not. Your presence still lingers here, and it wont leave me alone. These wounds wont seemed to heal, this pain is just to real, excruciating, there are too much that time cannot erase. You said that i need time, but to me, time wont heal me as the scars that was brand on me is severely deep. I try not to let the scars grow, but i failed, it stayed. All i want is you, i need you now, you are my everything now and ever. I seriously do not want to see these things happened to us,i just do not want this chapter of us came to an end just like that. I will try and do whatever it takes just to get to you back together with me again, i will do everything, including changing myself to fit you, and things that you said i wouldnt change, one by one i will show it to you that i can make it. For you, i will. I am willing to change. I do not care on how peoples looked at me, but i am still begging you hard for just letting me to have this chance to alter back all the mistakes that i had done, and prove to you that i am worth it. Please do not just give me up without second thoughts after i said those words that i wouldnt said if i am the previous me. Who i am hates who i have been. You are so wrong when you said this "I'M JUST SO FUCKED UP!! PERHAPS I DON'T FIT TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED BY ANYONE! PHOBIIIAAA~!!" No you are not and you just seemed to confuse only, but you cant stop the love from me towards you. I will fight away all your phobias and fears. I swear and i promised that i will change to be a better person and love you more and more day by day. Hope you read my blog. I pray to god, and i pray for myself that i have faith in this.


P/S I STILL LOVE YOU.