19th November 2008

These few nights, I cant really sleep well, alot of stuffs had been haunting and disturbing my mind. As for today, I wanted to tell you guys that I will always remember this day, 19th November 2008, this is the day where you decided that we remained as friends. Im glad you finally decided and this is your answer. Although I dont wanted to accept that this is the decision that you made but you give me no other choice. Although we have been together for not even 1 month, as we promised each other earlier that we gave ourselves 1 month to sort things out, but in the end it failed. Anway I really do appreciate that you gave me hope before and been together with me for a period. Seriously, Im really happy and glad. A dream in a jar, a memory scar, you've left a scar in my memory. Forever. This is the second time that you rejected me, but unlike this time, this is even tougher. Actually, during that period of time, i've already sensed that this might happened, few days ago, i saw alot of symtomps too. No doubt that i dont wanna accept it but still it happened. So, proved that my intuition is not wrong and this actually happened, at first i thought that i have already well prepared when i asked you bout it. But seemed that in the end i still cant really accept it. Im sorry to say that, i still love you, although you want us to remained as besties but seriously i really cant do it for you this time. Im sorry. You said that you needed time to think, and this is what you came out, Its okay, im cool with it, i respect your decision, so let us be friends since u love to be friend with me. Thank you for the scars. :) You said that after you treat someone as a best friend, the level of friendship will remained unchanged, you said that its hard for you to accept some one that is like a best friend to you as your bf ? Okay, since this is your main reason, I will accept it no matter what, once again, because i respect your decision, I dont want you to ignore me because im annoying. Do you know, that hurt me ? Oh I've forgotten, you also said that you gave me hope before as in be together with me just because that you dont want me to feel disappointed on all the things that I've done ? Allright, to be honest, this hurt me even more. But thanks for telling me this fast and thanks for being so honest to me. Thank You very much. I will always remember this and we will still remained as besties. Im speechless already. Maybe what is true, silence is golden for now. Maybe i should just keep my mouth shut and act like nothing happened before, like how you did, I really wonder how you did it ? Like its totally nothing happened before huh ? How come you can act so naturally like nothing actually happened ? This is amazing. This hurts. Maybe its me who clap one hand afterall. Sorry to disturb you and sorry for tormenting you mind to make such a hard decision. Im sorry. Im not a perfect person, im just not good enough for you. CINTA ITU APA ?
can any one tell me ? Sigh. GOODBYE.

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Jian™