Today, isnt a good day, i woke up at late afternoon. kinda tired. Today's weather isnt good as well. Its just the same as my mood today. Rainy day, bad mood. Hmmm, well i guess not to mentioned its a bad mood i had today, it is just that im kinda down.

What to say ? im speechless recently and tired of everything. Especially myself, i hate myself. Just to think of why am i so useless and why am i such a failure really pissed me off seriously. Oh by they way i was troubled by what you are thinking most of the time. What are you thinking ? What do you have in your mind now ? I cant really read it and I dont understand. I was totally devastated when you told me in your sms that day. It hurts, sadly. Honestly, i just wanna get to know what are you thinking nowadays. Can you tell me, please? Actually what is the problem now ? You said, that you need time to think ? Okay, its cool, its okay, you got all the time in the world i can give. But in return, is it the answer that you might be giving me is a good one ? I dont know. Hope you can give me a good answer after you have decide okay ? Well, I just wanted you to know that, no matter what happened, i will stand by your side, and go through everything with you, we just need to sort things out, like you said, i believe that everything will be allright. I have faith in you, i believed that we can be together afterall. I wanna be with you. bie, i really do, im serious. But lately, since today you have started to work, it might be a bad thing for me as you know i go back to Penang once a month and everytime i go back at every month's monthend and normally it should be a weekend. Sighh, why do you choose to work ? I cant go out with you too often you, you know dont you, well everytime i went out with you i cherish the moment alot. I thinked of you most of the time. Recently, i found out that there are some unknown problems that had been troubling us. Seriously i mean i felt that theres some kinda wall, some thickwall maybe, is blocking us. Like everytime when we are on the phone, suddenly both of us will be speechless and silence for a few seconds, i dont want that to happened. I hope that i can go thorugh all the problems with you, and i wished that i can break all the obstacles just to get to you. Im writing it all in my blog because i got no guts to tell you that on the phone, im such a loser such a coward that i dont even dare to tell you that directly when we talk. Sighh, im a sore loser. Hope that one day when you got the chance to read my blog, then you will understand what am i thinking back then and decide wisely. ahhhh, I MISS YOU, BIE. Suddenly, felt like having you by my side right now. sighh. Guess this is where i stop tonight.