Lately, i feel that this kinda life Im having now its kinda like... no life at all you know, repeating the same old shit everyday. Like i have said before, " Same shit, different day. " Yeah, its true, Im having this pathetic life now. Everyday is still the same, everything remained the same, unchanged, that why its fucking boring. Can i not have this kinda life already ? I am fucking tired of this shitty life im having now already, i hope i can change, but i was told that i am a failure in my life, can i really change my life ? There's only 1 and the half months left i guess for me to go back to my sin-tuary, and im still here, doing nothing, wasting time.... what i did everyday was like, wake up, if there's anywhere to go i will go, and if there's anything to do to ease my boredom, i will do, if not sitting in front of the com is likely i shall do. Its like totally lifeless! I can predict, what will I do even if im back in my shithole will be just the same, pointless shit. I wanted something that can make my life a happier, better one. Speaking of which, i felt that i lost my direction of life too. Like, i dont know what am i doing right now, like motiveless ?? Or i can say, i live without a reason, what is this ? It seems that i had lost the direction of my life since.... i seriously dont know, why will this happened to me? Im lost. Can I have some better life ? Can somebody please enlighten me, show me the new path that i shall go on with ?? None better, lately, i found out i have been arguing with my family, my friends, fruequently. Is it something that go to do with my attitude ? or my behaviour ? Or even my anger management? Before, to me, I would just said " Dont like my attitude or the way i talk ? Fuck off! " Seriously, im sorry for arguing with you guys, maybe theer's really something wrong with my attitude, maybe ya all will just think that Im wrong, but in otherway, different peoples had different point of views, just dont think that everything will go by your rules and your ways. Anyway, if I had done anything wrong to you guys, I seriously appologize from the bottom of my heart. Espeacially you, Hazel, Im sorry. I wonder, is it anything wrong with the way i talk and communicate ?? Okay, if anyone of you thinks that im wrong, feel free to tell me allright? I dont know why this recently, im always not in a good mood, maybe because of this unhealthy and boring lifestyle i had ? I just dont know why things will end up in this way. Do I seriously need to think and change my attitude, anger mangement ?? I got no ideas, i wonder who can give me some logical answers. My mind is full of plenty of question marks, a pocket full of questions, questions by questions, when only i can seek out them answers myself and stop this shit im having now. Seriously, I think that I need to change the way i am now. I hope it will be okay in the future. Off !