Monday, 13 April 2009, 7:37 pm
Lost

Recently, guess i had found myself lost in the crossroad of my life once again. I seriously got no idea when i started to felt so. Maybe this is not i want in my life ?? What am i looking for ? Maybe this road that i taken after my secondary school is not the road i wanted for. I know, everybody keep telling me that every roads have its obstacles to pull me down, but 2 years after things had gone this far, i felt like wanted to give up my current situation. I keep pretending and keep this problem aside but it came to me too at last. Looking back 2 years before, i still thought this might work out good for me, but after i tried, 2 years later, today, i found it wrong, i have failed. I am fucked up. I shouldn't have gone there. I have been wondering myself whether what is the best for me, but till now it seems that i just cant find one. I am certainly lost right now. Since last 3 weeks, i have been escaping to make my decision, i even went to work in some fair, starting off with PenangFON in some property fair and last few days with Sony in some Bridal Fair. I kept myself busy for not facing the problem. But at last, when i got home yesterday night, i began to think. I cant just keep escaping the problem forever. At last i had made my decision, but i still have doubt bout this decision that i have made, whether this is the right one for me now, cause another wrong step that i take leads me to deep shit somewhere in my future, that's why this is serious. I don't hope i got shitty future, just like everyone does right ? Who will hope for a bad future ? Seriously, sometimes i do wonder why i just cant find the right choice. I think i had decided not to continue what am i taking right now, i found it unsuitable for me and since the person in charge had rejected my appeal letter, guess i got no other choice left right now. Maybe i should just start to work and in the meantime look for suitable things to take up ? Some my friends agreed on what i told them. But some disagree, they told me to continue where am standing now which i found it quite hard for me this time. One of my friend told me, life is still long ahead to go, don't just go on with something you cant cope, there are many choices out there waiting, maybe i can find another one even more suitable for me, things will eventually worked out right, he said. So i thought, he is right, if i give up now, maybe i can found a better road out. Actually i had made my decision earlier, but i don't know why i m still having second thoughts here, wondering. I am searching for some answer currently, maybe some of you can help me. But even if somebody gave me suggestion, i am still the one who will be making my final decision in the end. Sigh, seriously i am thinking hard now. Hope there will be some miracle in my life, hope there will be a better life for me. I don't believe in fate, i believe in myself. Everything will be just fine. I told myself.

Let's put this matter aside, recently, i had found out this song randomly, from my brother's phone. After i asked him, he told me this song is from some anime named Gundam Double O. Lol, now only i know. He had downloaded them. Oh besides that, when i was driving back home the other day after work, i heard this song playing in the radio too. What a coincidence. The song is quite nice, relax, but, it just don't seemed like the type of song i will like, but i still don't know why i kinda like it. Lol. Anyway, i still will share it here. Here it goes, and the title is " Trust you by Yuna Ito ".



So, this is it, this is where i shall end my post. I will update asap.




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