Wednesday, 20 January 2010, 4:43 pm
Tell me all about life ... I wished i can get to know all the answers to my questions ... but seems that the more i tried the more i neglected ... Sometimes i wonder, is there a place for me like some library of knowledge where i can find the keys to all my questions... But what the hell, life turns out to be harsh to me, its like rough landing on some rocky mountain... Just lately, quite many things happened and i was like oh life is so short and fragile, and its fast, nobody can do nothing about it. Cherish it when you had the chance, there's no turning back tonight. Dont hesitate when making your decision, it might jeopardize your entire life, only that time you will realized resistance is futile. There are too many people talking too many things around me, but they dont know the real me, what is it feels like when i am alone, or what is it about deep down inside me, nobody can really feel me. Just like sometimes, all those things i hate kept revolves around me, but neither did i tell out nor did i seek for help, i just kept it in me. Sometimes i did felt that me myself should just swallow the problems myself silently, in pain. But i had chosen not to face the reality while keep running away from them. Running and escaping, i got no idea how long is it i had been so, escaping is the remedy. Once i heard someone told me, life is just another damn thing, take it or leave it, get rich or die trying. Its fucking true. Us humans, either born rich, die later, or die trying to get rich.


How i wished i were free of this, bind. Can i have my own way of life? Seems this time i know the answer. How i wished i could swing life away. Feeling free, is our modern disease, keep asking for freedom? Theres some freedom we cant achieve. Emotional, haunt me almost everyday, i wont like the feeling but its seems like its my best friend thou. No matter how hard i tried to kill you, but sadly, i lost, i surrender to you. I may looked like i happy or even laugh out loud and all, but like i said, you dont know me, deep enough yet. Oh not to mentioned i realized there are alot of emotional peoples around me, congrats, lets join the army of darkness. haha. By the way, arent us human are all professional actors and actress? With the thick skin layer of them, lying and faking is what they do everyday, not to mentioned how sarcastic a person can be. I do respect those peoples, on how "nice" they can be sometimes. Leaving them alone is my choice, not bringing problems to me is their choice. So do not mix it up. Planned perfection sought in my dreams, hoping and hoping things will get better, but the more you hope for, the more you die for and last, the higher disappointment you can get. Congrats. Well as for now, i do not hope for anything but i hope that i could change back time. Sigh, such a silly thing isnt it? FML. OH not forgetting those who are mr. and mrs sensitive, stop this act will you, i am tired of being mr. nice guy anymore. You wont want to see me when i am pissed. So, just chill out when people are talking and teasing about you allright? Relax , they are just joking, they meant no harm at all. Just plain joke, no big deal at all allright? CHILL. Dont be so hard on yourself okay. Exam's round the corner and shit i cant find back my study mood at all, where is my study enthusiasm, seems that the word had been long gone from my brain. I seriously do need some motivation. Exam is such a torment to me, but i cant do shit, well just get it on. Maybe i will find my way out of this mess. Time turns out to be so insufficient, and i guess consequences is what i need now. Bye.

P/s I hate to see you tremble.